Mental Health Diary: A way to Heal My Stressed Mind

 


                                 Mental Health Diary:  A way to Heal  My Stressed Mind 


 After my mother's death, the mind remains is not constant. My feelings are vulnerable and lost somewhere. Even my job is not progress as expected.  Enemies are and their activity has increased.  

They are trying to defeat me, but blessings of Goddess Bhairabhi and my family are strongly supporting and blessing.  When I  returned home after completing  school exams, I faced 2 hours jam due to landslide in Prithvi highway. After crossing the streets slowly, I reached home at 9 o'clock at night. I spent my whole life repenting for my mistakes. 

I got total 3 opportunity to be  permanent.  My job  is temporary.  I feel the need to settle down at home. I am not a permanent teacher.  By cutting my all my daily necessities, I used to saving some money  in the citizen's fund, the saving has been delayed by school administration.  While the administrator says he is honest, he is taking pleasure in inflicting pain on the teachers. Nowadays,  I have many more doubt upon such a mischievous administrator.

  I have a lovely son. He is 10 years old now.  I don't even want to see him sad.  My wife is  very innocent character, she is my life.  She  wants perfection in her child but our son is too young to understand all.

 I have hope that one day he will understand our effort to make him a nice man.  Sincere efforts were made to provide education in government schools, but there was no progress as expected in providing education. So, stubborn my wife got admitted our son  to the boarding school again after the lockdown.  

His first terminal  exam is taken without any preparation.My wife is sad because she has suspicion if  son is  failed?  I wonder how many marks will he get without putting in any effort.  And make him work hard in education accordingly.

We are at home.  Fun could come already   If the school authorities had failed to complete the examination quickly, they would have been unable to finish the government budget as per their expectations. 

 Authority Put exam schedule  in the middle of the rainy season .  Yes, the results of the examination were given to the school and the countrywide results and the condition of the students were not satisfactory.  Principal of our school is a party leader and compared to the first year, everyone was criticized on Facebook. I wouldn't able to come home on time

 Leaving aside all the criticism, I will come l take my life with me.  Now I am trying to be mentally strong due to the stress I have to face for 12th class results. I hope I get blessings from Goddess.  

Six months after the death of the mother, the Shraddha  scheme once again created tension in the house.  Pandit did not told to do shraddha. Our eldest  sister is ready for performing Shraddha I would have  turned towards Kathmandu. But finally it is stopped.

 I am feeling happy every moment, sitting with my family. How fast has a week gone by, isn't it?  Dai said, "Go to Kathmandu."  After knowing the reason for nothing ,  the mind was in confusion. 

Due to rainy season, the highway is totally blocked by landslide. I was very fearful. But later family discussion solve it. Today I felt refreshed because we joined the birthday party of our little sister Manusi. I enjoyed with delicious food. I forget my pain of separation of around 2 months.

 Although my mental state is thinking of unknown future but I am fully convinced by my wife that nothing is permanent. She consolidate me that be contented what you have. She is my mental health counselor too. 

My wife loves me and encourage me both mentally and physically. I am still living  with my loving family.  My heart is happy.  I have no worries right now.  First of all, why did not I  try to get this temporary job near my  home?  This question keeps coming to my mind again and again.







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