A Diary of a Mental Health Sufferer: Managing Stress Makes Your Mental Health Stronger

 

A Diary of a Mental Health Sufferer: Managing Stress Makes Your Mental Health Stronger

People are all celebrating love day which falls on 14th February 2024 in English New Year but I am on this basis leaving a young son and wife alone at home and going to work.  I am on a midnight journey to find permanent happiness with a temporary body and a temporary job when I have to stay at home and take care of the family. 

 After forty years of life.  According to the law of Nepal, 40 years is such a sad year after which you cannot apply for any teaching post.  Once your eligibility reaches the age of 68, you only need to take old age pension.  Now I've been left behind when I should be giving time to my family at home.  I have to bear the blame for all this myself.  There is tension in the mind.  The future is dark.  I get a headache from stress.  Seeing someone succeed makes me jealous.  I feel so guilty.  I feel like my mental health is slowly deteriorating day by day.  I am afraid to take even small decisions these days. 

 With a weak mind, I am living my life with stress, Immature administration of a junior chief, office environment, gossiping and dragging my feet, friends full of pride and selfishness.  There is nothing but stress in my mind due to the unwillingness of the mind to work but the situation of forced labor etc.  I wonder what the options are now but I'm stuck like a dead ship.  Now there is absolutely no choice and the only thing ahead is deteriorating mental health.

It is now 3 o'clock in the night.  In my heart, I don't want to go to work.  The job is temporary.  It is also uncertain when it will end.  Alternative jobs are not available in Nepal.  The government is corrupt and unstable.  People's opinions are not valued. There are vagrants everywhere.  Lack is stress.  There is an economic recession.  Business has been devastated.  Health, education, agriculture and employment are in every sector.  There is instability.  The number of foreigners is more than 2 thousand per day.  The mountains and the city are getting dry day by day.  Not related.  Country is not like country.  There is no place for a person like me to live in the country.  The time has come to find a government that understands the wishes of the people and lights the lamp.

Why do you think my job become temporary?  You have to come to your senses in time.  Have you thought of one thing?  Only when there is a fire in the house do you remember the number of the fire brigade. I have also been in the same situation.  What happens if you don't get wisdom in time, you will know when you see my daily deteriorating mental health. There is nothing but restlessness and restlessness in my mind.  There is an inner pain in the heart that nothing can be done now.  I can't sleep until late at night.  It seems that the one who saw is my enemy.  I feel like my mental strength is weakening inside.  Suddenly there is a break, I get nervous and think, did something happen?

Do you feel like sleeping alone and in the bus?  How can I sleep?  I am worried about what will happen tomorrow.  I drift like a boat without a destination, I don't know where I'm going to crash.

 Another question may come in your mind, is there not a teacher selection exam and names are selected after reading?  But the opportunity has died because the government imposes an age limit after 40 years as a working teacher but a relief teacher.  Look at my situation in 12 years of government job, I had 3 chances but I missed the chance.  Maybe then the job gave me a chance to make it permanent but I couldn't understand it.  By the time I realized the benefits of being permanent, my chance was over.  Now you may want to scold and you can say why are you going so far to your own place to find a job?  But now the government has said that the Education Act is coming as soon as possible.  Rumor has it that the government is making this temporary life permanent by giving temporary teachers a chance to participate in the exam before death.  I am proving that life is worth living.  I am anxiously waiting for the last chance given by the government.

 I couldn't sleep all night. What many thoughts are coming to my mind, some good thoughts and a lot of fear and bad thoughts.  He always called the microbus to wake up at other times and asked himself when will you know?

I was telling you about my deteriorating mental health.  Suddenly my wife called me and asked where the bus reached, I said Dasdhunga near Jugedi.  We are both awake from the base.  She is alone there, I am alone here.  How much stress my dearest  lady must have felt when she became a dimwitted old man.  Sometimes she reminds me about a decent rebellion she did and says that if Chitwan had come to Bharatpur at the time, it would not have been so bad.  Yes, that was a serious mistake of a lifetime.  Forgetting that my family members migrated to Terai, they kept pushing me towards Dhading, the district where I used to live.  I now have the regret of that serious mistake.  I am in Terai.  I am needed at home but I am still on a job trip with an uncertain future.

 Bake!  Let me lose myself in this regret.  Because time has rewarded my carelessness every single second.  Made me so lonely.  My future has been made uncertain.  I have stress, fear and an uncertain future.

Even if you want to, you cannot enjoy and create a pleasant atmosphere from the inner soul.  The spark of creativity within them slowly fades away.  In everything there is a feeling of pain rather than happiness.  Hatred and distaste for life begins.  If you are unable to encourage, encourage and congratulate others on their success, you start looking at them with anger, jealousy, revenge and contempt, these can be symptoms of depression.  Did I not have depression?

 After all, life is like that.  Sometimes up, sometimes down, sometimes laugh and sometimes cry.  All these are just excuses to sail the boat of life.  Sometimes we feel sad for no reason or without reason, we feel bored, we just want to cry, we don't want to talk to anyone.

After all, life is like that.  Sometimes up, sometimes down, sometimes laugh and sometimes cry.  All these are just excuses to sail the boat of life.  Sometimes we feel sad for no reason or without reason, we feel bored, we just want to cry, we don't want to talk to anyone.

 Sleep overcomes mental anxiety.  At once I fell asleep. Finally  Malekhu arrived at Prithibi Highway .  Even here, you can't get vehicles to go to work.  Luckily, I was offered a microbus.  The driver says you will travel after filling up of the passengers.  The destination is still incomplete.  After reaching Dhading Besi, the next destination is annoyed.  The micro bus  is not full of passengers.  Some housewives are also complaining by taking the bus.  Have to bring the child to school and when will you get there?  I also have a direct question with them.  But the answer to both is the same - zero.  All in a hurry, I'm in a hurry.  I came with a temporary life and now I am stuck again in the journey to become permanent.  There are empty seats in the bus.  My mind is empty too.  I was angry and looked at the rays of the morning sun. Suddenly I felt a sweet hope that tomorrow one day happiness will come again and I will become an active and happy person like before.

How Does A Person Overcome the Mental Stress ?

• The great work to be done in life and the great expectations it creates are the causes of stress.  

•Practicing the little things in life and being mindful of those situations is the way to be happy, joyful and loving.  A person may feel sad not being able to step on the moon, but a person who stares at the full moon for five minutes on a full moon night and enjoys it can never get stressed.

 •Instead of teasing and competition among friends, compliments and occasional laughs over a cup of coffee provide love energy for a lifetime.  

•Everyone knows the negative effects of stress physically, mentally and emotionally, but not so much is thought about how to overcome those effects through positive thinking and make life happy.  Just like not knowing how the darkness escaped after lighting a lamp in a dark room, if we can learn the art of removing the darkness in the form of ignorance with the light of meditation, we will not need to use the word stress.

• It's not stress, it's self-management—overcoming the tendency to lose sight of what you have and to lust after what you don't have.  Forgetting to recognize the original qualities and abilities that everyone has, abandoning the tendency to see the prestige and status of others as happiness.  

•Inner stability, gentleness, peace and freedom are our inner wealth, knowing that what can be more happy than enjoying this wealth.  Be aware of your ego and try to live a simple and easy life.

•Increasing self-confidence and emphasizing self-development rather than external development.  

•Spend an hour daily in concentration, solitude, quiet and meditative surroundings. 

• Do the required amount of physical labor and take mental rest. 

• Try to change your state of mind, not to change the situation in adverse situations.  Resolve to spend the lifestyle in a positive and good manner.